Thin Is Just The Way I Am

On June 21, 2010, I made a Facebook status update that I had lost 8 pounds. After reading the comments posted to my update (although every single one was meant well and, yes, taken as a compliment) I felt compelled to write this blog. Many questions have run through my mind. For instance, “Why is it that when a heavy person states he/she has shed some pounds, they are congratulated; but, a thin person can make the same statement and is thought to be senseless?”

I have been thin my entire life, and have gained a rather unique perspective on living skinny in a population that continues to gain weight. Many assume that we skinny people have it made, and being thin brings happiness. Although, being thin reduces certain health risks, it is NOT a ticket to happiness. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but even thin people can be miserable, depressed, and dreadfully ill.

For me, thin is just the way I am - the way God made me. I don’t look into a mirror and view my body as “fat”. Yes, I see flaws in certain areas of my body, but I don’t obsess on needing to be thin. It isn’t until someone reminds me that I even think about myself being thin. Even skinny people suffer from rude and insensitive comments, the same as the overweight. On many occasions I’ve been asked the dreadful questions, “Are you keeping yourself healthy?” “You’re not becoming anorexic or bulimic, are you?” Most people forget to understand that skinny people have feelings, too, and we don’t find it comforting to be stereotyped. To automatically assume that we’re dieting, starving ourselves, or trying to look better is unfair.

All too often, people make the notion that being thin means we can eat whatever we want. Yes, we can, and so can you. Don’t assume the skinny can live on chocolate cake and other sweets, without gaining a pound. My weakness is sugar - the sweeter something tastes, the more I like it. However, I have to be careful about how much sugar I consume. I can eat the sweets I enjoy, but not without focusing on how it makes me feel. Most of the time, what I eat won’t show up in weight gain, but my body certainly feels a difference. Only in these past 3 years, have I really paid attention to this truth. I have learned to lovingly feed my body more nourishing foods and beverages, along with regular exercise, and it then responds to me with vibrant health and energy - not to mention, the loss of a small range of pounds occasionally.

I’ll be honest, being thin feels great! But, it has nothing to do with happiness. And being happy is not about appearance, it’s about acceptance. No matter how much a person weighs, they must first be able to find self-acceptance. Self-acceptance doesn’t develop by becoming thinner. Whether we are working to lose weight or simply taking better care of our bodies, I believe we must look at what we want the weight loss to bring: be it better health, confidence, or even steamy romance. And maybe, just maybe, by training our bodies to be fit and healthy, and seeing ourselves as the gorgeous persons we already are, the weight just might take care of itself.

We Can All Be Writers

Earlier in the year, my youngest son, Major, was honored with the Young Author's Award for Outstanding Writing in creating, writing, and illustrating is own book called The King and the Missing Queen. I am amazed at the stories he has written this year. To give you a taste of his work, I'd like to share with you his new poem:


SPRING
Hello Spring you look like it is a new world.
Hello Spring you feel like warm air.
Hello Spring you smell like flowers.
Hello Spring, you taste like the sun.
Hello Spring, you sound like birds in the air.
Spring is the playful season.
Spring is the swimming season.
You are the season that I love.
You are pretty.
Sun, you're the one who shines.
Blue is the sky.
Spring, you are greater than the other seasons.
I'll see you later, my friend.

Major Martin
8 years old
2010

No Ordinary Bench

In July 2001, I was driving the usual dirt road up Smith mountain that ran behind the houses lining Lena Drive. I looked out over the green pasture that spanned for miles between the road and Grandfalls ... a routine I had adopted for weeks. But, this so-called normal day turned out to be different than the rest. As I drew in the beauty of the dense landscape of cacti and mesquite, I made the discovery of a lifetime. I had no idea how old it was or how it happened upon its place, but that was beside the point. It was laying there on its side, wounded and forgotten. I immediately felt the need to rescue it. I wanted to do something fun with it. Maybe it would liven up my home. I had no choice but to seek help. I called upon Dad, who was a little reluctant to take part in the rescue, seeing its life as hopeless; however, after some persuasion, he agreed. As he drove his truck down the road, I shook with anticipation and wonder. Would I be able to save its life?

The 8 foot wooden bench was in dire need of attention. The yellow paint suffered deep chips and was completely worn off its seat. The nails which held it together were beginning to pop, and a leg was missing. It was going to take some time and effort, but I was determined to make it something beautiful. I began to envision whimsical colors and patterns. Unfortunately, my thoughts were quickly cut short when Dad discovered another unique characteristic. Beneath the peeling, yellow paint, peering out from the chips, was a dull coat of grey paint. It was a discovery into the memory of his past. This bench had a story!

In 1970, Dad played his final year of high school football. It was on the sidelines that Dad first found the bench. In its original condition, the bench was approximately 3x the length, painted a solid grey, and used to seat an entire football team. I do not know how many years the bench had been used for this purpose, but one thing I knew for sure ... there was no way I could paint over its years. So, we simply added a new leg, leaving the rest in its original condition.

I placed the bench in my entryway. It has been used as a place for one to kick off their shoes when they enter the door, and a place to sit to put them on again. It has been a storehouse for many items such as backpacks, toys, and books. My children sit on the bench to talk with their friends or each other. It is a great place for them to finish off a snack before they hurry outside. But, most of all, it has been a conversation piece from the moment I rescued it (by simply looking at it, visitors know it has a story to tell). Forty years have passed since the bench sat on the sidelines of a football game, and today it continues to bless my home in so many ways.

Bucket List

My cousin, Julia, has created the most beautiful blog .... one that lead me to take a deeper look inside myself and realize I'm slowly loosing site of the desires of my heart. As a wife and mother, it is easy to become consumed in making sure life runs smoothly (as much as possible) for the other bodies in my home. In doing so, the desires of my heart have to be set aside for a while, which is fine, but sometimes "a while" becomes "so long" and they are soon forgotten. Julia's blog reminded me of some of those buried dreams, and also my many unfinished projects (almost to the point of an anxiety attack ... ha!), and in turn, is the entire reason for this list. My bucket list seems so short ..... for I know there are things that I've forgotten ..... truly "forgotten"! But, as time ticks on, I will revisit my list, adding to it and - hopefully - in accomplishment, scratch some things off.

• Turn my backyard into a beautiful garden
• Own an English Bulldog
• Visit Tuscany, Venice, and the Castles of Ireland
• Meet Shirley Temple
• Get a tummy tuck
• Take dance lessons
• Finish my kids' scrapbooks and videos
• Become a painter
• Transfer my parent's 8mm films
• Have a personal trainer
• Live in the country
• Own a Bed & Breakfast
• Own a vintage shop
• Visit and take photos of every historical marker in Texas
• Learn to play the harp, and re-learn to play the piano
• Take my children to Nick Hotel, Disney World, Lego Land, and Universal Studios
• Have Uncle Lonnie come for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas
• Restore an old barn with a loft
• Give my time, energy, and love to an overseas mission trip