Mommy's Seeds

I love my three Ms immensely!! And to think, the amount of love I have for them does not even come close to how much God loves them. Being their mother has been my greatest accomplishment in life, and the best job I have ever had. And I must say, I know I am a GOOD Mommy, too... Not perfect, but good. Yes, I make my share of parenting mistakes, but even so, God continues to show me (thru my Ms) that I am doing many things right. You see... the path I show them, the lessons I teach them, the advice I share with them, the discipline I give them, the love I pour into them... does not always sink in, but God is letting me know that those seeds that I have planted are sprouting, and turning into something He can use for His glory.

The purest purpose of my life is to be someone God can use; to bless others, show them the love of Jesus, to lead them to salvation, and encourage their spiritual growth. Where better to start than with my own children?

I hope to raise my children...

To say 'thank you' to the bus driver when they get off the bus, 'please' to the waiter taking their order, and to hold the elevator doors when someone's rushing to get in.

To respect others.

To have the ability to always know who they are, in order to respect themselves and the values they carry.

To act in a manner that they would wish to be treated.

To be proud of themselves.

To have faith in others, and be understanding.

To love, and be kind to old people.

To stick up for a kid who's being bullied on the playground. And, if they are the bully? I hope they realize that Mommy will cause them more pain than a bully ever could.

To lose graciously and win without bragging. I hope they learn that disappointments are fleeting and so are triumphs, and if they come home at night to people who love them, neither one matter.

To appreciate the people who love them, and the simple beauty that God gave them.

To love themselves and to love others. And I pray they learn the difference in "liking" something/someone and "loving" them.

To love with forgiveness. To understand the power of forgiveness and how important it is in life. While some people may ask us to forgive them, usually forgiveness is for ourselves so that we can move forward. If we hold on to anger and hurt, it is our own lives we are tearing up.

To realize life is unfair... Some people are born rich or gorgeous. Some people are handed things that they don’t deserve. Some people come into jobs or wealth that they don't earn. Tough.

To get what they want just often enough to keep them optimistic, but not enough to make them spoiled.

To stand tall in this world and to learn to depend on God... not to depend on money or material things for their security and happiness.

To always hope and dream and never give up. I love seeing the spark in their eyes when they talk of their dreams, and seeing what they are doing to make them come true.

To know the value of hard work. Hard work not only helps us reach our dreams, but it makes us who we are, and makes us value what we worked for more than if it were handed to us.

To learn the value of giving, so that if ever there comes a time in their life that someone really needs, they will give.

To always tell the truth, not bending it or telling only parts of truths, for there are no half-truths. A half truth is still a lie. While they may be able to fool others, God will always know the truth.

To enjoy reading, and to have the desire to learn about the history of things.

To be courageous when sick, and grateful when healthy.

To laugh and smile as much as they can, in order to help bring joy back to the world.

To always believe that what they give out…be it good or bad..comes back ten fold.

That we are to do everything "as to the Lord".

To be godly, and set-apart, and made holy.

To find a godly mate.. The one God has chosen for them. Not to rush relationships.



Deuteronomy 23:5 - I always pray that God will turn the tables of their lives and radically change the outcome for their future for His glory! I pray that He will turn their curses into blessings and give them an abundant life in the midst of difficult circumstances. Because He LOVES them, and He is a God who loves to reverse destinies and dramatically change outcomes.

But, even with the best laid plans, things can fall apart. That is why I pray for my children:

My Good and Gracious Father,

I thank You for these treasured children of mine. Although You have entrusted them to me, I know they belong to You. Like Hannah offered Samuel, I dedicate my children to You, Lord. I recognize that they are always in Your care.

Help me as a parent, Lord, with my weaknesses and imperfections. Give me strength and godly wisdom to raise my children after Your Holy Word. Please supply what I lack. Keep my children walking on the path that leads to eternal life. Help them to overcome the temptations in this world, and the sin that would so easily entangle them.

Dear God, send Your Holy Spirit daily to lead and guide them. Ever assist them to grow in wisdom and stature, in grace and knowledge, in kindness, compassion and love. May they serve You faithfully with their whole heart devoted to You. May they discover the joy of Your Presence through a daily relationship with Your Son, Jesus.

Help me never to hold on too tightly to them, nor neglect my responsiblities before You as a parent. Lord, let my committment to raise my children for the glory of Your name cause their life to forever testify of Your faithfulness. In Jesus' name. Amen.



I love my children; my children love me. I have spent my life teaching them of God's love, and showing them how to become children of God. Our world is small, simple, busy and wonderful. Many years of joy have been mine.

And so here is what I ask of YOU... when my time on earth is done, please continue to nourish these seeds that I have planted (and even cultivate new ones), for my greatest hope for my children is that they become all that God has created them to be.

When I first believed...

I don't remember first learning about God from my parents; although, I know I did. My relationship with Him began (in my earliest recollection) when I was 5 years old. Many days, I spent hours at a time, sitting on our back porch, soaking up the warmth of the sun, listening to the birds sing their melodies, and talking to God about it all. I told him stories about my day, things I liked, things I hoped for, etc. Then one day, it happened.... He spoke to ME! Now, I'm sure He had probably spoken to me before, in other ways, but as a child, I probably didn't recognize them. However; on this day, I did. It was God's audible voice. Loud and clear. I was not afraid. I remember feeling special, and blessed. What an honor!

God told me I was smart. Smart? As I look back, I can honestly say I WAS smart... In school, in my studies. But, what about in life? Hearing the true voice of God made me a believer, gave me faith. And I certainly didn't want to disappoint Him. So, I did my best to be "perfect" for Him. I was smart when it came time to say "No" to drugs, parties, the pressures of sex, bullying others, etc. BUT, eventually God's word became nothing but a legalistic view of rules that became too hard for me to live up to. Satan used it to smother me in guilt and shame when I stumbled. Before long, I wasn't so smart anymore. I made poor choices... Poor choices in what kind of boy was worthy to date me, throwing my college career away, getting married too soon, making more enemies than friends, dishonoring my family, etc. These life decisions chipped away at my heart and my faith. And even though I was being molded into someone I no longer loved or recognized, I never stopped believing. I couldn't. I had heard His voice. I knew He was real. I began to long for His voice again. I wept for His voice. Why didn't God talk to me anymore? Where was He?

It wasn't until I learned about another voice we all hear (satan's voice), that I began to hear from God again. I had been listening to the wrong voice! All those times that life's decisions had me torn between making a "heart" choice or a "head" choice..... when it should've been a GOD choice. I started out on the right path of allowing my decisions in life to be based on what would make God proud of me. But, what I didn't know was that we don't have to be perfect for God, and He still loves us when we stumble. Satan used my lack of knowledge to corrupt my path, and to become the prominent voice I heard. Knowing now how to recognize both voices, and allowing the Holy Spirit to help me discern between the two, I am better able to walk the life-path God has laid out for me. The choices I face aren't always easy, but when I choose to do what God would have me do, the outcome is always good.

Today, I no longer weep for God's voice. I hear Him. He speaks to ME! Loud and clear. I am not afraid. I am special, and blessed. He says, "See, I told you you are smart!" What an honor!

[My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. (Hosea 4:6)]

I love this!

This is just a sweet little reminder that when it comes to our kids, we are more productive than we will ever know! We're not architects, but we build character. We're not surgeons, but we mend wounds, cuts, bruises - physical and emotional. We're 'not' a lot of things to some out there who think we have it 'EASY', but to our kids, we are EVERYTHING!!!!

I feel truly blessed to be a stay-at-home mom again.... what a wonderful gift from God! I am exactly where I belong, and exactly what God made me to be ...... a MOM, 24/7 (literally). What a blessing!

To all you moms out there... I love you, stay strong, and keep on keepin' on!!!!

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Dear Carolyn Article

Taken from the "Dear Carolyn" Opinion column in the Washington Post and others...

Why don't friends with kids have time?
by Carolyn Hax (The Washington Post)

Dear Carolyn: Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, ect. Me (no kids): What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group.....OK, I've talked to parents, I don't get it. What do stay-at-home-moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners ... I do all those things, too. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events); I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy, but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a contest ("my life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks have the same questions. -Tacoma, Wash.

Dear Tacoma: Relax and enjoy. You're funny. Or, you're lying about having friends with kids.Or, you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.So, because it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, cleaned, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces checkout-line screaming.It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.It's doing all this while con-currently teaching virtually everything - language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spend all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first ten minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand, or keep your snit to yourself. - Carolyn

Just A Mom?

I don’t hold any special degree, astounding title, or higher certification. I am “just a mom”, or at least that is what some say. Why do people feel the need to point that out? They have completely missed the mark .... I am so much more than that!

Above all, I am a child of God - “just like you!” I am also a wife, daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunt, and friend. I am a teacher, coach, secretary, nurse, chauffeur, chef, maid, writer, painter, artist, gardener, inventor, construction worker, designer, stylist, athlete, musician, handyman, and the list goes on.....

But, let’s get back to me being “just a mom”. Being a mom is a magnificent gift from God, a glorious honor. God has entrusted ME to raise three beautiful children in His ways: to give them life, love, and direction; to teach them things like right from wrong, respect, and kindness; to take them to church to learn about Jesus; to offer them advice about friends and sex; to guard them from drugs, alcohol, and other horrible sins of this world; to help them set lofty goals; to love them unconditionally; and to pray for them daily. So why is being “just a mom” seen as such an insignificant job? Wasn’t it YOUR mom that brought you into this world in the first place?

The job of being a mom is one of the hardest fields of work that anyone could ever take on, and the responsibilities are not always clearly designated. It is a challenging permanent work in an OFTEN chaotic environment. It requires excellent communication and organizational skills. I work all hours, including evenings and weekends, while being on 24 hour call. I am sometimes hated, abused (in pillow fights), used (for $ of course), and I must have the ability to bite my tongue repeatedly. The hardest part is being able to maintain enough physical stamina to go from 0 to 60 mph in 3 seconds flat at the sound of every scream. Often times I am even forced to darn the three P’s - you know, the ones that smell bad and feel icky!?!

None the less, the fact that I am able to spend virtually all my time with my children is wonderful. Nothing compares to the simple moments with my kids. My children are given plenty of time to sit with me, rock with me, talk to me, tell me about their drawings, imagine their futures with me, see the stars and the moon with me, enjoy a sunrise or sunset with me, cry to me about hurt feelings, pray with me, etc. All these things give motherhood its incredible highs, and nurtures fierce love. Being a mom is so much more fulfilling than anything I have ever done. And, yes, that is ALL I EVER ASPIRED TO BE!

Maybe the job of being “just a mom” would be considered more of an accomplishment to you if I told you I am a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations, that I am working on my Masters and already have 3 credits, that this type of job is for sure the most demanding in the Humanities. Do I then go in the records as someone more distinguished? Maybe to you, but I would rather be known as ..... “just a mom”!

My Love Affair

I have encountered him countless times in my life, and never did I imagine the feelings he would bring me. A child-like giddiness has been slowly festering through a simple, and innocent, “by the way” or “have you heard”. I was surprised to discover, one day, the abundance of butterflies that fluttered upon seeing him again, and it was then that I realized, he had become my secret “love affair”.

Each morning when I awake, I imagine him. A sense of lightheartedness and happiness overcomes me, knowing I am destined to meet with him again. I look forward to the discovery of what another day’s encounter may entail, and I begin to feel alive. The anticipation is almost unbearable.

I’ve grown to take great pleasure in his role in my life - my every day. He is one of the brightest points. He generates companionship - creating a warm, personal attachment; he illuminates love - fine-tuning the focus of my heart; he instills compassion - leading me to develop a more affectionate concern for the well-being of others. I have come to believe that everything he has, I want or “need”, and could quite possibly benefit from.

From him, this wonderful stuff comes rushing forth - a tidal wave of goodness ... things I couldn’t possibly have imagined. The cards, the photos, the gifts - his enduring loyalty - ushers me back to him each day. Every time I step out my door to meet him, excitement boils within me. As I make the usual stroll to the end of my driveway, my suspense builds. I am curious to the surprises my mailbox will (once again) bestow upon me.

Undeniably, I am soon gratified by another secret meeting on the street, and another “see you later", "until we meet again.”

Thin Is Just The Way I Am

On June 21, 2010, I made a Facebook status update that I had lost 8 pounds. After reading the comments posted to my update (although every single one was meant well and, yes, taken as a compliment) I felt compelled to write this blog. Many questions have run through my mind. For instance, “Why is it that when a heavy person states he/she has shed some pounds, they are congratulated; but, a thin person can make the same statement and is thought to be senseless?”

I have been thin my entire life, and have gained a rather unique perspective on living skinny in a population that continues to gain weight. Many assume that we skinny people have it made, and being thin brings happiness. Although, being thin reduces certain health risks, it is NOT a ticket to happiness. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but even thin people can be miserable, depressed, and dreadfully ill.

For me, thin is just the way I am - the way God made me. I don’t look into a mirror and view my body as “fat”. Yes, I see flaws in certain areas of my body, but I don’t obsess on needing to be thin. It isn’t until someone reminds me that I even think about myself being thin. Even skinny people suffer from rude and insensitive comments, the same as the overweight. On many occasions I’ve been asked the dreadful questions, “Are you keeping yourself healthy?” “You’re not becoming anorexic or bulimic, are you?” Most people forget to understand that skinny people have feelings, too, and we don’t find it comforting to be stereotyped. To automatically assume that we’re dieting, starving ourselves, or trying to look better is unfair.

All too often, people make the notion that being thin means we can eat whatever we want. Yes, we can, and so can you. Don’t assume the skinny can live on chocolate cake and other sweets, without gaining a pound. My weakness is sugar - the sweeter something tastes, the more I like it. However, I have to be careful about how much sugar I consume. I can eat the sweets I enjoy, but not without focusing on how it makes me feel. Most of the time, what I eat won’t show up in weight gain, but my body certainly feels a difference. Only in these past 3 years, have I really paid attention to this truth. I have learned to lovingly feed my body more nourishing foods and beverages, along with regular exercise, and it then responds to me with vibrant health and energy - not to mention, the loss of a small range of pounds occasionally.

I’ll be honest, being thin feels great! But, it has nothing to do with happiness. And being happy is not about appearance, it’s about acceptance. No matter how much a person weighs, they must first be able to find self-acceptance. Self-acceptance doesn’t develop by becoming thinner. Whether we are working to lose weight or simply taking better care of our bodies, I believe we must look at what we want the weight loss to bring: be it better health, confidence, or even steamy romance. And maybe, just maybe, by training our bodies to be fit and healthy, and seeing ourselves as the gorgeous persons we already are, the weight just might take care of itself.

We Can All Be Writers

Earlier in the year, my youngest son, Major, was honored with the Young Author's Award for Outstanding Writing in creating, writing, and illustrating is own book called The King and the Missing Queen. I am amazed at the stories he has written this year. To give you a taste of his work, I'd like to share with you his new poem:


SPRING
Hello Spring you look like it is a new world.
Hello Spring you feel like warm air.
Hello Spring you smell like flowers.
Hello Spring, you taste like the sun.
Hello Spring, you sound like birds in the air.
Spring is the playful season.
Spring is the swimming season.
You are the season that I love.
You are pretty.
Sun, you're the one who shines.
Blue is the sky.
Spring, you are greater than the other seasons.
I'll see you later, my friend.

Major Martin
8 years old
2010

No Ordinary Bench

In July 2001, I was driving the usual dirt road up Smith mountain that ran behind the houses lining Lena Drive. I looked out over the green pasture that spanned for miles between the road and Grandfalls ... a routine I had adopted for weeks. But, this so-called normal day turned out to be different than the rest. As I drew in the beauty of the dense landscape of cacti and mesquite, I made the discovery of a lifetime. I had no idea how old it was or how it happened upon its place, but that was beside the point. It was laying there on its side, wounded and forgotten. I immediately felt the need to rescue it. I wanted to do something fun with it. Maybe it would liven up my home. I had no choice but to seek help. I called upon Dad, who was a little reluctant to take part in the rescue, seeing its life as hopeless; however, after some persuasion, he agreed. As he drove his truck down the road, I shook with anticipation and wonder. Would I be able to save its life?

The 8 foot wooden bench was in dire need of attention. The yellow paint suffered deep chips and was completely worn off its seat. The nails which held it together were beginning to pop, and a leg was missing. It was going to take some time and effort, but I was determined to make it something beautiful. I began to envision whimsical colors and patterns. Unfortunately, my thoughts were quickly cut short when Dad discovered another unique characteristic. Beneath the peeling, yellow paint, peering out from the chips, was a dull coat of grey paint. It was a discovery into the memory of his past. This bench had a story!

In 1970, Dad played his final year of high school football. It was on the sidelines that Dad first found the bench. In its original condition, the bench was approximately 3x the length, painted a solid grey, and used to seat an entire football team. I do not know how many years the bench had been used for this purpose, but one thing I knew for sure ... there was no way I could paint over its years. So, we simply added a new leg, leaving the rest in its original condition.

I placed the bench in my entryway. It has been used as a place for one to kick off their shoes when they enter the door, and a place to sit to put them on again. It has been a storehouse for many items such as backpacks, toys, and books. My children sit on the bench to talk with their friends or each other. It is a great place for them to finish off a snack before they hurry outside. But, most of all, it has been a conversation piece from the moment I rescued it (by simply looking at it, visitors know it has a story to tell). Forty years have passed since the bench sat on the sidelines of a football game, and today it continues to bless my home in so many ways.

Bucket List

My cousin, Julia, has created the most beautiful blog .... one that lead me to take a deeper look inside myself and realize I'm slowly loosing site of the desires of my heart. As a wife and mother, it is easy to become consumed in making sure life runs smoothly (as much as possible) for the other bodies in my home. In doing so, the desires of my heart have to be set aside for a while, which is fine, but sometimes "a while" becomes "so long" and they are soon forgotten. Julia's blog reminded me of some of those buried dreams, and also my many unfinished projects (almost to the point of an anxiety attack ... ha!), and in turn, is the entire reason for this list. My bucket list seems so short ..... for I know there are things that I've forgotten ..... truly "forgotten"! But, as time ticks on, I will revisit my list, adding to it and - hopefully - in accomplishment, scratch some things off.

• Turn my backyard into a beautiful garden
• Own an English Bulldog
• Visit Tuscany, Venice, and the Castles of Ireland
• Meet Shirley Temple
• Get a tummy tuck
• Take dance lessons
• Finish my kids' scrapbooks and videos
• Become a painter
• Transfer my parent's 8mm films
• Have a personal trainer
• Live in the country
• Own a Bed & Breakfast
• Own a vintage shop
• Visit and take photos of every historical marker in Texas
• Learn to play the harp, and re-learn to play the piano
• Take my children to Nick Hotel, Disney World, Lego Land, and Universal Studios
• Have Uncle Lonnie come for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas
• Restore an old barn with a loft
• Give my time, energy, and love to an overseas mission trip

What Brings Me JOY...

Sunday morning worship. * Being a mother. * A newborn baby. * The laughter of a child. * Watching my children perform. * Snuggling. * Being warm. * Sleeping late. * Helping others. * Spending time with family. * Talking with my mother. * My dad's chicken spaghetti. * Chips and queso. * Working a puzzle. * Singing (and LOUD!). * Looking my best. * Sunbathing. * Working in the yard. * Sleeping outside in the summer. * The sound of crickets at night. * Ladybugs, Dragonflies, Butterflies. * Garage sales and flea markets. * Going to the movies. * A vibrant town square. * Bringing new life to old junk. * Interior decorating. * Completing a project. * The hum of a box fan. * A clean house. * Lamp light and candles. * A rocking chair and a porch swing.